Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
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When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
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Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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