I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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