i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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