am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize