Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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