why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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