Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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