He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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