I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
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I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
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if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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