I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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