you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize