She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
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He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
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showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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