don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
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Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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