you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize