I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize