when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
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