i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize