I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize