I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
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woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
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No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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