The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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