Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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