do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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