I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
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I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
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i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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