Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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