He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize