I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
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i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
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I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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