so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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