What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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