1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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