Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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