Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize