If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just threw up on my dentist
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize