Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex

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(412): I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex http://tfl.nu/na8l

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(330): View more from Ohio

Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.

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(330): Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight. http://tfl.nu/vmn2

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(859): View more from Kentucky

$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.

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(859): $1 pitcher night should be outlawed. http://tfl.nu/2dye

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(562): View more from California

Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.

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(562): Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont. http://tfl.nu/ey1g

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(703): View more from Virginia

I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.

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(703): I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them. http://tfl.nu/kulz

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice

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(608): im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice http://tfl.nu/dly6

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(563): View more from Iowa

I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.

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(563): I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished. http://tfl.nu/1qri

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(908): View more from New Jersey

We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"

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(908): We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!" http://tfl.nu/fs29

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(815): View more from Illinois

Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness

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(815): Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness http://tfl.nu/w2dw

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(612): View more from Minnesota

It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course

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(612): It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course http://tfl.nu/673n

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(307): View more from Wyoming

who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some

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(307): who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some http://tfl.nu/7roh

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(775): View more from Nevada

Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.

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(775): Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program. http://tfl.nu/5e2w

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.

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(908): I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country. http://tfl.nu/dr7f

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

No more weed for you

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(978): We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal (717): No more weed for you http://tfl.nu/rrjq

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(323): View more from California

Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Sure lol what's that?

(323): View more from California

Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Why?

(323): View more from California

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