Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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