he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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