We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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