Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?

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  (773): Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home? http://tfl.nu/5b5c
  Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.

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  (404): Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one. http://tfl.nu/q7a8
  Replies (2) Good night (2630) Bad night (416)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest

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  (519): He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest http://tfl.nu/yyal
  Replies (47) Good night (1381) Bad night (5610) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college

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  (765): I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college http://tfl.nu/2g0y
  Replies (19) Good night (5010) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume

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  (949): im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume http://tfl.nu/ixw0
  Replies (27) Good night (1146) Bad night (4123) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP

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  (512): someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP http://tfl.nu/kebb
  Replies (19) Good night (5146) Bad night (2499) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.

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  (907): I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out. http://tfl.nu/os26
  Replies (17) Good night (3830) Bad night (1119) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Also pregame at mine tomorrow?

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  (917): My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat. (917): Also pregame at mine tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/3lzk
  Replies (3) Good night (3086) Bad night (851)
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  (559): View more from California

  can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.

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  (559): can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock. http://tfl.nu/805r
  Replies (16) Good night (5710) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out

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  (281): She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out http://tfl.nu/guh4
  Replies (33) Good night (10955) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct

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  (860): I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct http://tfl.nu/jyp0
  Replies (3) Good night (1558) Bad night (369) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car

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  (443): dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car http://tfl.nu/5sre
  Replies (2) Good night (1168) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house

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  (612): I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house http://tfl.nu/z7wf
  Replies (5) Good night (1571) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"

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  (905): they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about" http://tfl.nu/sw9a
  Replies (8) Good night (1490) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.

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  (716): The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West. http://tfl.nu/935n
  Replies (6) Good night (1032) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt

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