Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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