Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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