grandma shit on top of the toilet
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize