a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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