East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize