I faked an abortion last night.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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