Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in your delicious
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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