the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize