Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize