Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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