matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize