i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
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And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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