Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize