I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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